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Trust Issues

Me: Confession: My life is at a turning point because I realized I have trust issues. I don't trust myself or others...
Chanelly_B: good you know. Now what are you going to do to change that?
Me: *sighs* good question. I'm giving ppl opportunities to gain/have my trust & I'm being more forthcoming bout my issues & past. Just h8 when they f-ck up.
Chanelly_B: and why don't you trust yourself? 
Me: Hurt ppl, hurt ppl.
Chanelly_B: so you don't trust yourself because you think you'll hurt them on purpose?
Me: I won't say I hurt thm on purpose. I just do things for my personal pleasure & don't regret if they get hurt in the process...
Chanelly_B: & u try to hurt them before they hurt u?
Me: I only do so when I'm hurting thou
Chanelly_B: Because they hurt u knowingly?
Me: Yuuup. I'll say what bothers me. I'll exhibit I'm not happy. They choose to ignore. They choose to be hurt... I just don't like hurting someone I care bout even if they hurt me.
Chanelly_B: Do u think you are an EFFECTIVE communicator?
Me: When I 1st have a problem, yes. As there is no change, no. Cuz now I'm done talking, I'm plotting...
Chanelly_B: Why not just cut them off? Do u trust too easily?
Me: Depends on how much I've invested. If I call u friend/l-ver/fam, it's hard 2 say"Get out my life!!!" & I don't like hurting ppl.
Chanelly_B: Did they earn your trust though? I use to give trust to ppl who even showed they they didn't deserve it.
Me: Truthfully I make ppl work too hard for my trust. I expect thm to do hurtful shit frm "hi." I trust everyone 2 b hurtful.
Chanelly_B: Trust should be earned but why offer it if you really don't want to give it?
Me: I do want to trust. TBH: Issues in my past is hindering my future.
Chanelly_B: you have to resolve those before you go forward. Otherwise it'll become a cycle.
Me: I'm trying...
Chanelly_B: what are doing to resolve it? you have forgive the ppl from your past and yourself.
Me: then I guess that's where I'll start

Drake-Trust-Issues by O Beau
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