Hermosa & the Bi☥ch

There's no holiday cheer in our home. It never is. Any cheer truthfully, unless I supply it. I'm tired thou. Overworked & underappreciated. It's in my face. It's in every single, "Don't worry about it." I mutter. But it's unnoticed. Ignored. Not a priority. I'm trying to b the best friend/lover/partner/parent/person possible. Breaking my spirit. Stressing. I'm drained. But I must paint on a smile. Say that I'm fine... wonder if I'd b missed when I'm gone???

Let’s get this clear… I’m not the woman that he complains about. I’m not that woman in which he bad mouths. I’m the woman whom he doubts. The one when he’s in jam, bails him out. When he’s struggling, helps him out. The one he leaves to go to others and lie about. Let him tell it, he’s been single for the past several years. I’m just his best friend whom he holds quite dear. I think he figures when his life becomes that of his dreams, he’ll find someone better than me. But now while he’s still on his way, I’m best to have in his pocket, his ace in the hold, isn’t that what they say? But that woman who doesn’t know how to treat a man, he always speaks of, he once claimed as his wife, so I’m guessing they were madly in love. He hasn’t moved on from her, I believe no one compares. Not to her cooking, cleaning, or fashionable flair. She must have set a standard so high, because sinc...

I've learned that when it comes to my relationships, I'm the problem. I'm the reason for the arguments. I don't understand. I don't listen. I don't care. I don't answer questions correctly. I won't change. I don't consider other's feelings. I don't make time. I don't plan dates. I don't cook for them. I don't cook well. I'm always in/on my phone. I'm always on my computer. I'm always on a social network. I don't talk to them. I isolate myself. I don't try to bond with their family/friends. I'm sneaky. I lie. I hide shit. I'm secretive. I'm sensitive. I'm argumentative. I LOVE to debate. I'm stuck up. I'm not humble. I'm childish. I'm not sexual. I'm cold. I'm not affectionate. I don't care about how I look. I'm not tidy. I'm wild. I don't make good choices. I'm emotional. I'm rebellious. I'm not wife material. I won't let anyone in. I don...

     Other people make a space beautiful. I kinda feel dumb writing about this. However I have a lot on my chest. I made the decision to start a new life. I have convinced myself that in order to move forward, I must let go of the past. I am giving up my home. Not house but HOME. A place that I built with my love and my dreams. My comfort zone is going to be gone. I’m giving up my childish ways. My stuffed animal friends, my doll baby (I say it backwards because although she is a doll she is MY BABY.) I will no longer be able to put things the way I want them or how I want them. I am letting go of my space. My individuality, creativity, my freedom will be boxed up or thrown out or sold. No longer will I be able to enjoy the company of pets that I am used to. With each word I type I begin to question the choice I am making. Only because I am giving up soooo much on a hope, not a guarantee. Not a promise, not even a wish, or an expectation. Sacrificing my EVER...

It's funny how every time you put your phone down, it's face down. And no matter who you talk to when you speak about it later, you can never remember a name. You know how to hold the phone @ that perfect angle so only you see your screen. No looking over your shoulder, huh? & you can have a lock on your phone whenever you please? I admit in the past I didn't do things like that BUT hell I didn't think that doing those things meant being sneaky. O wait, it's sneaky when I DO it is just normal for any & every body else?And why is it, I must hear," I need to tell you SOMETHING or show you SOMETHING." WTF is the something??? Like why can't I just be told," Look I've been SECRETLY & SNEAKLY accessing your account and I want to discuss what I came across." Yet I'm sneaky. I'm manipulative. Hiding something. Oh  so because you rather not talk to me or listen when I talk or because you take everything personally that I...

      So one day on Twitter   @_NoBooty   posted this " Ask a man what he wants in a woman he usually speaks of Physical features women usually speak of Other qualities." Being the debator everyone claims I am, I naturally tweeted that I was *preparing to test her theory*. Although I updated the question "Hey fellas, what do you look for when looking for a woman?"  on both my twitter (which may/may not have been private @ the time oopsi)  & facebook, not a single male responded. ;( So I took to texting the males in my phone & I got  a variety of responses. Here's what the men want, ladies & I'm telling y'all EXACTLY how they told me: Male (age 23): Looks and big boobs lol Male (age 27): Independance Male (age 44): Maturity, responsible, independent, financially stable,chemistry, attractive, trust worthy Male (age 21): Intelligence confidence and ability to adapt to change Male (age 25): Really right no...

Oh my gosh! Yes! Yes! Right there. I luv the tuggin & the scratchin & ooo yea pull it  Oh snap that was somthin new. Ooo I see u know what 2 do directin me on how & what u   want me 2 do. omGeee! Dang ... I can't begin 2 explain how good it feels when the Shampoo Girl Lather Rinse & Repeat Damn u hot & all ova me got me bout 2 bust a sweat the way u blowin on my neck... Wish I could turn u off. However if I don’t spend time with u then I can’t manage to do anything else. I sit all up under u... blow dryer.   The things I do for u & the money I spend too just for u 2 split or fall out when u want.  Then I gotta hear, “I need 2 take betta care of u." & Once we get around people u like 2 perpetrate like u always be this way.  When u kno it took 3 hrs to get u straight but I ♥ u, my MANE.                  ...